It Aint Pretty
by X.x.HP.x.X.Forever
Summary: Bailey Swan has been through a lot of changes in the last year or two. She survived a newborn army attack and now she is looking forward to her life in the future. But when everything starts to go right, her life goes sideways and backwards. Everything will change. Her life will never be the same and neither will Jacob's. Jacob/OC Sequel to I Wouldn't Change A Thing M to be safe
1. Chapter 1

It Aint Pretty

I stared at myself in the mirror and took a turn, the dress flowing around me and twirling with me, until it fell against my leg. The light airy material felt nice against my legs and it gave the feeling of a playful atmosphere, but was still sophisticated and classy.

It was a light peach coloured dress with one shoulder and a black belt. It was a satiny fabric with a sheer overlay. It lay against my body in a nice, flattering way but was still quite classy for Bella's wedding.

"I love it!" I smiled at Bella and did another twirl, spinning and stopping suddenly, loving the way the dress twirled then stopped.

"It looks perfect! And you can have your hair down and it pretty curls. Jake won't be able to control himself. You know one day you could be searching for bridesmaids." Alice's airy voice was heard from beside me and I smiled at her and stepped off the pedestal.

Alice was Bella's maid of honor, or matron of honor if you thought Alice and Jasper were married, and of course it was only natural. Alice was Bella's best friend and shopping buddy, even though Bella would deny it.

"Maybe. One day." I smiled and looked at Bella, who was sitting on the couch with a small smile on her face.

"It'll happen. Jake loves you. He's crazy about you. He imprinted on you." I nodded and sat beside Bella, feeling a little tired from the day of shopping and Alice throwing dress after dress at Bella.

"Yeah." I drifted off into my thoughts as Bella and Alice talked, Alice warning Bella that there were more dresses to try on, and Bella trying to get out of it.

'One day Jake and I will get married.'

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I frowned, staring at myself in the mirror, my brown hair falling loosely on my shoulders and down my back. There was no smile on my face, there was no sign of anything but a blank face. My eyes were tired and there were black bags under my eyes, giving me the look of someone who hasn't slept well. I felt tired, I felt drained and I felt…unappealing.

"Bailey. Come back to bed." Jake's voice drifted from the bedroom. He was giving me an ultimatum. I could go back to the bedroom and back to Jake, or I could stand here, staring at myself.

I chose to ignore Jake and continue to stare at my reflection. Things were going to change. Things were going to be different. I looked down at the sink for a minute, watching and listening as there were a few drops of tears on the porcelain.

"Fuck." I bit my lip and forced a sob to stay in and tried not to let Jake know what was going on. I couldn't tell him. Not yet. Not until I was sure.

"Bailey…get yourself together." I looked back up at the mirror and felt my shoulders droop. I reached up and touched my hair, uncovering the spot on my head that I hoped my hair would cover. There it was, on my head. The spot that led me to realize my life would change.

My hair was falling out and I was sick.


	2. Chapter 2

It Aint Pretty

I sat across from Bella, the day after she had announced who she was going to be having in her bridal party, feeling sick and not myself. I thought that maybe I had a cold, or maybe I had the flu, but I wasn't overly concerned. I knew that I would get over it and I would be fine. I knew that I had to.

"Edward got me the perfect ring. It really is just so beautiful." Bella held up her hand and her ring caught the light and sparkled. I felt a twinge of jealousy shoot through me at the sight of her ring. I felt jealous because I wanted she had and I wanted to be engaged and getting married.

"It's beautiful. And your dress, is simply gorgeous." Alice was Bella's maid of honour, I felt jealous. Rosalie was her first bridesmaid, I felt jealous.

"Thanks." Bella seemed a little less enthused than Alice and Rosalie about the wedding, but she still kept a smile on her face.

The three of them carried on a conversation, while I sat back against the expensive couch, cup of tea in hand and went deep into my thoughts. It had started out as a small train of thought, about why I hadn't felt good lately. My thoughts soon drifted from those thoughts to Jake.

I thought back to when we had first met and how I was drawn to him right away and didn't want to be away from him. I remembered how he called me beautiful and perfect. He was and is my best friend, I love him. But something…didn't feel right.

"Bailey? Are you alright?" A voice like bells came from my left. I couldn't tell if it was Esmé, Alice or Rosalie. It didn't matter because the voices faded until there was nothing left but muffled voices.

"Bailey?" I bent over my knees and gagged, feeling bile come up my throat. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't. I felt it come out and my head started spinning. I felt sicker than I ever had. My body was shaking, my head felt like it was splitting and my vision was going blurry.

'Jacob.'

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I was scared, I was terrified. I was frightened and I felt alone. I had kept it from Jacob, Jake, my best friend, didn't know. Charlie didn't know, Bella didn't know, no one knew. I had lied to them all. I had said it was the flu. I said I had a cold. It was worse. It was devastating and I knew I needed to tell someone, but I couldn't. I didn't know what to say or how to say it.

Bailey. Please…come in." I stood and walked into Dr. Cullen's office, he was the only one that knew that something serious was happening. He was the only one that knew and I made him promise that he wouldn't tell anyone.

"Hi." My voice was soft, I was expecting bad news. My hair was hidden, I hadn't had it down since I found the bald spot and I had refused to have it under anything but a beanie. I

"How have you been feeling?" I wanted to roll my eyes, I wanted to yell and scream and throw things, anything to feel better. Anything to get rid of the dread that has followed me all day. I wanted to swear like a sailor, but I knew that none of this would make me feel better. It wouldn't change anything.

"I've been sick. My hair is falling out and I've thrown up every day. I feel weak and tired and I look like I have two black eyes. People think I'm getting abused." I sat in the chair across from his desk and frowned. Everything was looking up and now it's about to change.

"Bailey…I know that these results may or may not be positive. We won't stop searching for the answer. We'll find out what's wrong. But you need to tell Jake. He needs to know what's going on." I heard his voice, I heard what he was saying, I even absorbed the information he was telling me, but I didn't react. I didn't smile or frown or cry or yell. I stared at him, blank face.

"What's the results?" I tried to keep my voice calm and even. I tried to keep a level head, despite the fact that I was freaking out on the inside. I was afraid to find out what sickness had ailed me.

"I'm sorry Bailey." Dr. Cullen opened the folder and I saw 'Positive' in bright, red letters sitting on top of a paper. It had things that I couldn't read and didn't want to read. My vision started going blurry again, but not because I was losing consciousness, but because of tears.

"I have to go." I stood and left the office, flinging the door open and briskly walking down the hall. I ignored Dr. Cullen calling after me. I ignored the sound of his footsteps coming after me. My goal was getting outside. I didn't want to be in the hospital anymore.

"Bailey." Dr. Cullen grabbed my wrist, gently, and stopped me from going any further.

"Please leave me alone. Please." Dr. Cullen moved in front of me and dug his phone out of his pocket.

"I'm calling Edward to drive you home. You can't drive under this condition. It's dangerous for you." I didn't fight Dr. Cullen. I stood there while he called, staring at the hospital, biting my bottom lip and sniffling.

"You'll fight it. You'll survive. You're a fighter. But please, you need to tell Jake. He needs to know. He has a right to know you. He loves you." I nodded and wiped away the few tears that were still there. I mustered up a smile at Dr. Cullen.

He stood with me for a minute until his pager had gone off, then he apologised and walked into the hospital leaving me alone. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked around the hospital at all the cars in the parking lot and the people coming and going. I wondered how many other people were in the same situation as me. I wondered if they had thought the same thoughts I had or had the same worries.

"Bailey? Are you ready?" I looked at Edward, and his shiny Volvo, and had no doubts that he was reading my mind, either that or Dr. Cullen had told him what happened.

"Yeah." If he did know, he hadn't said anything. He just opened the door for me and closed it behind me when I had gotten in.

I frowned when I was buckled up and reached up and touched the spot on my head that was void of hair.

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I do not have cancer, I don't know anyone that does have cancer. I'm writing about it simply for this fan fiction. I don't mean to offend anyone with cancer with what I write, so please don't be offended if I get anything wrong or if what I write isn't what really happens. Thank you for reading, and sorry again, if I offend anyone. Thanks for all the reviews and favourites and follows!


	3. Chapter 3

It Aint Pretty

I was scared of telling anyone what was going on. So when I had gotten to the border of La Push, the first person I had called was Sue. I knew I could trust Sue. I knew I could tell her anything and she wouldn't tell anyone; I knew she wouldn't tell Jake.

"Bailey? Are you okay?" I shook my head and covered my mouth with my sleeve and tried to keep tears back. I was trying and I was failing.

"Bailey?" A second voice came from behind Sue's and I pulled away and in my blurry vision, barely made out the image of Seth. He was standing outside of the car and was looking at his mom and me, worry in his eyes.

"Seth give us a minute." Seth ignored his mom and took more cautious steps towards us.

"Is it something he did?" I forgot that Edward was still there until Seth started shaking. I looked back at Edward.

"I'll tell Carlisle to give you a call." I nodded and looked back towards Sue and Seth. Seth was still glaring at Edward and still shaking, but he had calmed down.

"Are you okay?" Sue brought me back to the present and she brought me back to the realities. I was sick. I was positive. My hair was falling out and I may lose Jake.

I shook my head and wrapped my arms around Sue's frame when she pulled me into a hug. I let out a few sobs and felt warm, moist tears falling down my face and onto Sue's clothes. I could see the wet spots on her shirt, and I could see Seth in the background looking awkward.

"I'm not okay." Sue gave me a squeeze and I started to feel better, being able to release some of my emotions.

"Do you want to go home or come back to our place?" I pulled away and brushed stray tears and sniffled. I wanted to go somewhere but I couldn't go home. I couldn't go back to Jake yet. I knew that if I saw him in this condition, I would break down. I needed some time to just soak in this information before I told Jake.

"Okay. Come on. We'll go. Seth you can't tell anyone." Seth nodded and got into the backseat of Sue's vehicle, even though he was squished, he never complained.

I got in and buckled up, still feeling like I could shed the water works, but feeling better. I knew that this was going to be an uphill battle and I wasn't even sure what my chances were, but I knew that I was going to fight. I was going to fight my hardest and despite what may happen, I wasn't going to just give in and give up.

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I was wide awake in the middle of the night. Jake was out on patrol and I was stuck at home by myself. I knew that Jake wouldn't be back until the early morning and that gave me about 4 hours to do what I wanted. I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, so I decided to go for a drive.

I pulled on some sweats and one of Jake's old hoodies and got into my car and drove. I had no idea where I wanted to go, but I was just going to go. I just wanted to go…somewhere.

I turned on the radio, and cranked up the volume, letting the music fill the space in the car. I needed an escape, a distraction. I needed someone to talk to. I needed answers. _I need to be better._

"When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. Don't get too close. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide." I had to stop the car on the side of the highway. I parked the car and covered my face with my hands and started to cry.

I was angry that this had happened to me; happened to Jake. I was angry that the treatments may not work, I was angry at the fact that I had such a good life ahead of me, and it could get ripped away from me. It could get taken away.

"Dammit!" I swore and started hitting the steering wheel with my hand, feeling like this is the only way that I could get my anger out. I was so fucking angry at the situation and I hadn't even told Jake yet.

"This is not supposed to happen to me!" I quit hitting the steering wheel and got out of the car and started pacing back and forth beside my car. There were so many emotions running through me, and it was really starting to make me feel lost. I didn't know what to feel and I didn't know how to deal with every emotion.

After a few minutes of me, standing outside my car, letting my anger out, I got back in my car. I started it and flipped the drivers mirror down and stared at my reflection in the small rectangle piece of glass.

I was tired and my eyes were red because of the crying, but beside the tiredness, I could see my old self. The one who had no other concerns other than graduating and being with Jake for the rest of my life. The girl who had wanted kids with Jake, a little girl and a little boy. The girl who had dreamed of her wedding day since she was little.

My thoughts went from myself to Jake. Jake had fought vampires, a newborn army and he had come out a winner. But this was something that Jake would not be able to fight just by being a werewolf. This was not something supernatural that he and the pack could fight. This was a different fight. Jake wouldn't be able to do anything. Jake wouldn't be able to make this go away. Jake couldn't protect me from this.

This was something that wouldn't just affect me. This would affect Jake, Bella, Charlie and who knows who else. I needed to start telling people. I needed to tell Jake. Jake needed to know.


	4. Chapter 4

It Aint Pretty

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I knew I needed to tell Jake. I knew I did. But having him sit across from me, talking about a trip he thought we needed to take, or him going on about how we were going to one day get married, and then to burst his bubble by saying that I was sick, very sick, wouldn't be fair to him. But it wouldn't be fair to not tell him.

I was stuck between a cliff and a waterfall, so to speak, and no matter what I chose, I would be going over.

"Emily's having a party Friday. She wants us to come." I nodded and finished eating my dinner, finding that it was hard to swallow, like a pill.

"I can't wait." I tried to smile, I tried to make it seem like nothing was wrong, but everything seemed to be going wrong.

"Are you okay?" I looked up at Jake, looked into his eyes, and lied right to his face.

"Yes." Jake smiled and kept eating, and I looked down at my food, feeling sicker than ever, at lying right to his face. I knew that every couple lied but this was Jake, my best friend, the person I was supposed to be spending the rest of my life with.

"That's great Bailey." I nodded and shoved food in my mouth to stop myself from spilling everything right now. I wanted it to be at the right moment. I needed to tell him soon, that I knew, but I needed it to be a good time. Not like this.

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There were people everywhere. They were celebrating Kim and Jared's engagement. There were faces passing back and forth, mingling and talking, and then there was me. I was leaning on the cupboards in the kitchen, just watching and observing people as they came and gone. There were times when I would completely tune everything out and drift into my thoughts, only to be brought back by a tap on the shoulder or a pinch on the arm.

There were times when the noises around me got so loud that it made my head pound and ache. I often went back and forth between the two.

"Hey! I haven't seen you all night!" Kim pulled me into a hug and I tightly hugged her back. I was happy for her and Jared. I was ecstatic that they were going to be getting married.

"Congratulations Kim!" I found it easier to fake normal around others, than it was for Jake. That took real effort.

"Thank you! I couldn't believe it when Jared had asked! Isn't the ring just beautiful?" I nodded and smiled at Kim. She was so bubbly and happy, it was clear to see that she had never been happier. The ring that sparkled on Kim's finger was beautiful.

It was simple yet beautiful. It was white gold with two infinity shapes on both sides, that hugged and outlined a single diamond. It made the diamond pop and it really suited Kim. She wasn't the type of person that liked overly shiny and expensive things.

"I love it Kim. Really." Soon Kim left after saying goodbye and made her way around the house, socializing with other people that attended.

"You wanna come to the beach? They're starting a bonfire and they're going to tell the legends." There were two new members of the pack. Brady and Collin, both 13 and both much smaller than the other guys in the pack.

"Sure." I set my drink down and grabbed Jake's hand and followed him out of the house and down to the beach. I loved the beach. I loved the sand between my toes and the feel of the water on my feet.

"I love you Bailey. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. We will you know." I looked at Jake and smiled. He was my very best friend and he knew so much about me. So much more than I knew about myself.

"I love you to Jacob Black." Jake stopped walking and turned to me. He bent down and kissed me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my body against his. I deepened the kiss and Jake responded by wrapping his arms around my waist.

It was a perfect moment and everything in the world melted away. There was just me and him. The sound of the waves and the slight breeze. The feel of his lips against mine. Everything was perfect right in this moment.

"Hey Jake! Come play soccer!" The moment ended with Jake pulling back and laughing. He pulled away and gave me a quick kiss, before running towards his brothers.

I walked over to the fire that was now built and sat down on a log. The fire was warm and welcoming and I enjoyed the heat that flickered and warmed my toes.

"How are you? Sue said you were upset?" Emily sat beside me and she wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into her. I rest my head against her shoulder and sighed.

"Things are complicated, Em." I felt someone brush up against me, and Sue was on the other side, giving Emily and me a smile.

"We're here to talk." I knew I should've told Jake first, but I was scared. I needed to talk to someone and Edward and Carlisle weren't exactly the best people to talk to when it came to being sick. They were going to be living for forever.

"I…I'm sick. Sue, Emily, I'm not well." I had learned that there were certain ways I could style my hair to cover the bald spots. And now, I was going to show them.

I pulled my hair from my pony tail and shook it out. I moved it out of the way and let them see the smooth skin coloured area that was my scalp. It was big and ugly and it was my skin tone that shone against my dark hair.

"Bailey is that…" Sue reached up and touched the area. She didn't say anything, but just touched it and stared. I didn't know if she was in shock or what was going through her mind.

"I have cancer." That was the first time I had actually come out and said it. It was hard for me to say because it made it real. I had thought that if I hadn't said it, it wouldn't seem real. Maybe it would go away and I would wake up from this bad dream.

"Bailey…" Two sets of arms wrapped around me. I felt like the floodgates had opened because I couldn't hold back tears.

"I'm so scared. I'm terrified. I don't know what to do or think. I haven't even told Jake yet." They didn't say anything, they just hugged me and let me cry. They gave me comfort that I really needed.

"You need to tell him." It was a few minutes of silence, other than me crying, when Emily had spoken up. I knew I had to tell him. I knew that. I just didn't know how.

"How do I tell him something like this? How do I tell him that I am sick and my hair is falling out? How do I tell Jake?"

"You sit him down and you tell him straight out. You hug him and your cry on his shoulder and you just try and get it all out. Then you fight it together. You fight this and you win." I nodded and wiped away the moisture from under my eyes and sniffled.

"Thank you."

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	5. Chapter 5

It Aint Pretty

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I was going to tell Jake. I decided while I was still sitting beside Sue and Emily, feeling the warmth of the fire flicker at my legs and feet. It warmed me up, even though I wasn't cold and gave me comfort. It was a nice night out and I figured that there was no better time to tell Jake. We would go for a walk down the beach and I would let him know. I had no idea what his reaction would be and I was terrified, but he needed to know.

"Jake?" I got up from the fire and walked away from the logs and over to Jake and the rest of the pack guys. They were kicking around a soccer ball and it looked like it was getting intense. I stood a bit away, wanting to give them space, and I didn't want to get hit with the ball.

"Hold up." Jake grabbed the ball and threw it to Seth, before he jogged over to me. His tall frame towered over me and I smiled at him. He was beautiful, it was strange to think of a man as beautiful but he was.

"Hi beautiful." Jake pulled me into him and pressed his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in further. My eyes closed and I felt a flood of emotions rush through my body and I felt at peace. I felt like nothing was wrong. I felt normal.

"Jake...we need to talk." I pulled away and broke eyes contact, trying to ignore the feeling of Sue and Emily staring at me. They were watching me and I knew they meant good, but we needed privacy.

"Of course." Jake grabbed my hand and his large, warm hand, wrapped around mine. He made me feel safe and secure and protected. But even Jake couldn't protect me from this.

Jake and I walked along the beach, past the pack boys, away from the fire and once we were far enough away, I stopped and looked at him. Jake stopped and looked at me, his full attention directed towards me, and his smile still present on his face. He didn't lose his smile and he didn't seem to think anything was wrong judging from the look on his face and in his eyes.

"Jake…I don't know how to say this. Or even where to begin. But…" I frowned and closed my eyes, damning my emotions as I started to tear up. I promised myself I was going to stay strong and not cry. I promised that I was going to just spit it out.

"Bailey? What's wrong?" Warmth on my arms from Jake's hands. Warmth spreading through my body, but I never felt colder.

"I'm sick Jake. I have cancer." I moved my hair aside and let him see the bald spot on my head. I looked at him, waiting to see his reaction. He reached up and touched the skin that lacked hair. His eyes were showing me shock, anger and disbelief.

"Jake? Say something?" I begged him to speak, but he stared at the spot and ran his fingers over it. He dropped his hand like he got burnt and stepped away from me, shaking. I took a few steps back, making sure I gave him distance. Jake continued to shake and growl until Jake was no longer there, but in his place was his wolf.

He didn't hesitate to take off, leaving me standing on the beach by myself. I looked over to the spot where he once was and saw shredded clothes lying on the beach. I frowned and stood there, thinking about all the reactions he could've had and decided that maybe that was the best.

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I hoped the leech could hear my thoughts. I didn't care if I wasn't supposed to be on their land. I was. I was in front of their house and I was pacing back and forth, trying to get myself to calm down enough so I could shift. I needed to talk to Carlisle.

'Dammit! Just calm down!' I tried to tell myself to calm down but the image of Bailey lying in a hospital bed with tubes in her arms and her head void of hair, made me even angrier. I couldn't just let her be taken from me. I needed to do something from her. I had to.

"Jacob. You can't be here." Edward stood in front of me and I growled at him and lunged at him, knocking him to the ground. He didn't move, he just lay there as I growled and snarled in his face.

"Jacob! Stop!" I looked away from Edward and saw Bella standing there, a vampire, glaring at me. I snarled at her and got off of Edward and crouched down low. I was pissed and I didn't trust myself to not try and attack Bella or Edward or any of the others.

"Jacob you need to calm down." The rest of the leeches were out of the house now and staring at me. I was angry, I was angry and I was dangerous. I couldn't calm down and I couldn't keep my thoughts together. There were too many things going through my mind.

"Emmett go and grab Jacob some clothes. Jasper calm him down so he can phase back and then we will go talk." Emmett disappeared and came back in less than a minute with clothes and threw them at me. They landed at my feet and once Jasper had calmed me down, I phased, butt naked and changed in front of them. I didn't care whether they saw me like that. I was only worried about one thing.

"She's dying." The first thing I said and it made me want to phase again. I was on edge, I didn't think I could stop myself from phasing. I was too mad.

"Jacob, she is not dying. She has cancer. There is a big difference." I growled and jumped down and stalked towards Carlisle. I stood in front of him, seething.

"Tell the difference. My imprint, my soul mate has cancer." Carlisle didn't flinch. He put his hand on my shoulder and I pushed it off. I didn't want him to touch me. It was bad enough that I had to wear a leeches clothing.

"She can get treatments. She can beat this." Edward spoke to my left and I looked at him. Did he know?

"I found out. I was there when she went in." I pushed Edward against the side of the house and held him by the collar of his shirt.

"You knew before me? You didn't think to tell me that my soul mate was sick? What if that was Bella?" Edward flicked his eyes towards Bella and turned back to me.

"Bella is a vampire. She can't."

"That doesn't matter!" I pushed him further into the frame of the house and heard the frame start to crack.

"Jacob please…Let's go inside and talk." I dropped Edward when I felt calm and knew Jasper was to blame. He was the one that was making me calm.

"Talk about what? I should've known! You should've called me! You should've let me know!" The anger returned and I started shaking. Nobody told me and I should've known.

"I couldn't Jacob. It wasn't my place to tell you." I started feeling my bones crack and change. My breathing picked up and I started losing control of my body. I was going to phase. I knew it.

"Jacob, there are treatments. There are things that can be done. Chemotherapy can start as soon as she is ready. She can beat this." I heard what he was saying but all I saw in my head, was Bailey.

She was dying. She was withering away in a hospital bed. She was afraid and I was going to lose her. My heart was breaking as I sat next to her. I held her cold, pale hand and watched she died in front of my eyes. There was nothing I could do. My thoughts pushed me over the edge and I felt all my bones crack and I phased, destroying the leeches clothes.

I didn't wait for anything to say anything, I took off back into the woods and started running back towards La Push. I blocked any of the pack members who tried to communicate with me. I needed space and I didn't need them in my head.

I didn't know where I was running, I just need to run.

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So Jake knows. And he freaked which was to be expected.

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